Introduction to My Super Dope Telescope

I asked for a telescope for my 16th birthday.  Not a long skinny stupid telescope
that you put in your library for show.  This was bad to the bone. Think of a 6 tired bamboo dumpling steamer in shape and size - for the cultured.  And for the rest of you imagine a big chromed out Campbell's soup can-shaped thing (also known as a cylinder). Low to the ground.  The color - metallic violet and it was a beauty.
I just don’t read instructions.  I guess I consider it a design flaw if I’m not able to figure it out by just messing with it.  So while the nerds are combing through the manual I’m outside under the stars.  I was determined to see the moon up close for the first time that night.  And  I did.  And It was unforgettable. 
However, it’s not as easy as you would think to find the moon on your first try...
Like you would imagine flying an airplane - first try.  You've seen enough movies to know the controls are all backward... You know you have to push the throttle down if you want to gain altitude.  I think telescopes feel wrong in much the same way.  
As much as I wanted to punch it or throw it at a tree, It was a dope telescope and I  made it work.  It was just so sensitive that if you tapped it with a Q-tip as lightly as possible, it would move your view like 9 light-years to the right.  I'm even exaggerating.
I would like to tell you upfront about how I judge Saturn based entirely on its goofy looks...  I only judge Saturn on superficialities - Never judge people the way I'm about to judge Saturn kids - got that?  Saturn looks like a Fisher-Price baby toy.  it’s most disappointing.  You want to punt it out or the universe for not fitting in.  Saturn is as much a dog toy to me, as it is a respectable planet. But hey, you form your own opinion which will probably resemble a ring pop, a dreidel, a balloon animal hat, or a 5 cent plastic wedding ring wrapped around tiny stale gum-ball.
I worked my way around the sky with fresh eyes - always looking at the sky as a puzzle.  I learned next to nothing about constellations in school, and what I did learn, I had to unlearn. I wanted to see things clearly. I look up and see something undeciphered.  A deep code.
So I felt it was worth introducing my telescope.  As a tool, it helps me see farther, but what I find in the end is Nature.  A part of a beautiful metaphor.
Think about the telescope, now fast forward 21 years... I end up giving it away to one of my good friends who worked as my doorman in Brooklyn. Within 15 seconds he found an on/off switch - Something I failed to find that in all those years.   So I guess he saw more stars that very night  than I ever did with the touch of a button it was fully automated..... But 5 years at war with a beautiful piece of technology, plugged in or not, undoubtedly teaches you something.  
Thomas Hoppe